One hard lesson I’ve learnt so far in life is to know when to keep my big mouth shut. The problem is I have a mild case of verbal diarrhoea. Consequently there have been a couple of unfortunate victims who came into contact with my ‘running’ mouth and got poo’ed on big time. Here are a couple of things I can remember saying during my lifetime which made me wish that the earth would just swallow me whole with no chance of regurgitation:
1. “I like that thing you have there…they’re like whiskers.” – Said to a girl with a faint moustache whilst I was under the influence of Smirnoff vodka before a night out during my university years.
2. “I wrote a jingle for a milk advert. Wanna hear it?” – Said to a girl I was chatting up and trying desperately hard to impress during my secondary school years. Smh.
3. “There’s someone sitting here” – Said to a guy at a wedding reception whom I did not want sitting next to me because he looked unkempt and likely to be a pickpocket.
4. “How’s your mum and dad?” – Said to a friend who told me some months back that her dad had passed away after an illness. It just skipped my memory before asking.
5. “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend” – Said to a girl I was dating and whom I obviously never ended up having a relationship with.
If I remember anymore I’ll put them up here, reluctantly. In the meantime feel free to share some of those careless things that slipped out of your mouth…and that includes spitting when you talk