‘I would like some tea, please. Don’t ask me HOW I would like it. Don’t try to make small talk with me. Up until 2minutes ago we were total strangers. You are not doing this because you want to. You are doing this because you have to. Don’t try to stall me with questions that would only intensify a thirst which, before you came prouncing along, wasn’t initially there. Just pour it and drop it and I’ll try not to sip it and spill it. I don’t care if it’s Iced Tea or Regular hot tea. I don’t care if its Earl Grey, De-Caff, Herbal or Chai Tea. I don’t care if it’s made by Lipton, Twinning’s, PG Tips, Tetley or low-budget teabags made for Economy class passengers. I don’t care if it comes with milk either so don’t ask me if I want full creamed, skimmed, semi-skimmed, evaporated, condensed, powdered, or any other white liquid substance that was supposedly drawn from a cow…or goat for that matter. Don’t assume that I would use the sugar in the sachet. You don’t know if I like to use sweetners. You don’t know if I take my tea with honey. You must be thinking that if I allowed you to ask how I take my tea I could have responded with a single-sentence which would save time and energy for both you and I? Well I would have said something like “I take it in a teacup like everyone else” – not the kind of answer you would like to hear. So now that you’ve probably learnt a thing or two (or not) ask me how I would like take my tea…I dare you’ xD
…Sounds like a cool title to a blockbuster thriller, doesn’t it? But seriously, who the hell came up with the term anyway? I have gone through about 10 glove compartments in random cars of my friends and not once did I find a pair of gloves in there. Instead all I got was a ‘What are you looking for?’ Amongst the things I actually found in those compartments included: vehicle particulars, CDs, torch lights, AA batteries, receipts, flyers, car chargers, cameras, condoms (well, just in one of the compartments), pens and sporks (spoony forks/forky spoons).
Thats it I’m afraid. I don’t have any story about a gun I found in a glove compartment or a severed finger I discovered in the glove compartment. I think all car manufacturers should throw in free driving gloves as an add-on when buying a new car – at least then I’d be able to make appropriate use of the damn compartment
I hate road traffic on Monday mornings, I hate Sunday evenings because I’m thinking about Monday, I hate Monday Meetings, I think Monday used to be called Moanday or perhaps even Mournday, I hate Monday because I carry over things from last Monday, I hate that after Church on Sunday the first sin I commit is usually on, wait for it, MONDAY!!! I hate that I can never choose to fall sick on a Monday. I don’t want my birthday to ever fall on a Monday. I do not plan to marry on Monday, yes i think it’s safe to say that I HATE MONDAYS!!!!!
Now where did I put my Monday medication…