…now that I’ve gotten your attention, I’m first going to go into the whole positive spiel about how happily married couples share everything including the toothbrush (eew!) and how they keep absolutely nothing from each other (in case you missed … Continue reading →
At first there is the sudden and quite unexpected attraction. Then one of the two parties subtly tries to beckon the other by way of some gesture; perhaps a wink or an outright stare. If this goes well and chemistry is established then they could proceed to the dating stage. If there are fireworks aplenty then be sure of an exchange of phone numbers, Facebook IDs, twitter handles, etc. Only the adventurous dare to do some good ol’ flirting. Every now and again there’s the occasional gift in the form of flowers (for no particular reason), or phone recharge vouchers (if your partner keeps ending each conversation with ‘I’m running out of credit’). It’s only fair to assume that the gift-buyer has now earned the right to do some holding – of the hands, of the curves, of your favourite body part (whatever that is). Some of us go one step further and offer an invitation to have a home-cooked dinner (true intentions concealed, of course). Right before one of you makes a move, you get the jitters (some call it butterflies in your tummy while others just call it a bad case of gas). The climax of the night is reached when you’ve successfully kissed your partner (I mean Hollywood-kissed with lots of tongue!). Inevitably the two of you fall hopelessly in love…and if both sets of parents approve (or are deceased, as the case may be) then it’s a good time as any for marriage…and that’s when it starts to get a little bit complicated.
Why is it that in every relationship one person is liked or loved more than the other? Even worse, why is it that you can be loved by someone whom you don’t love much, whilst you love someone who ALSO doesn’t love you much? (Stay with me now). In fact, the only reason why you’re in this unbalanced relationship is because the one you really love (or think you love) isn’t ready, isn’t interested or isn’t in your life yet.
Looking at things from a guy’s perspective, first comes the denial; that the person you love will eventually come around and love you in return but that almost never happens (that’s just as dumb as marrying someone who has a recurring bad habit and thinking you can change that in a couple of years before death do you part). Meanwhile, the one who truly loves you is losing a bit of her heart each aching day as you drift further and further towards the Bermuda Triangle of unrequited love. And when the one you were infatuated with tells you…wait for it…she’s in love with someone else, you know you shouldn’t be too surprised but you’re only human, right? Your heart is obliterated into a million pieces. Only two outcomes can prevail: Either you pull out of the other insatiable relationship or you carry on and let a poor girl suffer the rebound effect. You get a taste of your own medicine – trying to grow to love someone who loves you. In the end, nobody wants to be alone.
Nobody dreams to marry someone who sees them as their next best choice. Nobody wants to live a loveless life. There’s a type of love that everyone would want to have: that fairytale love, that romantic love, that spontaneous love, that kiss-me-in-the-morning love, that feed-me-when-I’m-ill love, that cuddle-up love, that go-to-church-in-the-same-Ankara love, that no-secrets love, that grow-old-and-wrinkly-together love (By now I’m sure you get the picture). It’s like a diamond in the rough; it’s hard to find but rest assured…it’s there somewhere waiting to be discovered by you
~ Inspired by Two Lovers (2008) Directed by James Gray